It seems like my meager blogging skills have dried up and blown away… Since April things have just been so crazy, busy, happy, and sad, and all over the place emotionally. After such a great birthday weekend in Greenville where we managed to pull off a classic surprise for Mom with Phil & Nancy showing up at a sidewalk cafe… it was just so perfect, Nancy & I agreed that we could never have imagined how great the timing was, and Mom was just ecstatic with happy tears.
All too soon after that was her stroke, seemingly endless days at her side at Hospice… then she was gone. Two beautiful services, one here, one in Wilmette… and since then, all the details of her estate. Barb & Phil came for a long weekend of going through her things, making choices and decisions regarding what to keep. Since then, I have spent at least a couple of days a week at her house. We will eventually have an estate sale of the remainder of the stuff, but first I have tocontinue sorting through things. I can’t just turn it over to someone else without first going through all drawers, boxes, closets, etc myself. I found 3 baby bracelets (ours!) in a box of old hankies… they could have been lost. Grandma’s tatting in a box of sewing stuff… it goes on and on. Being at Mom’s house so much with all of her treasures around me seems both painful and comforting all at once… I just miss her so much. That Mother-Daughter bond was always so strong.
So – vertigo. Yes, a couple more episodes. One relatively mild one while Phil & Nance were here and Mom was in hospice. Knocked me flat for a couple days. Then a much worse one in late June. Always awful, but that was a really nasty one. I did have an appointment with my ENT, Dr M. He knows me well, and he believes that it’s Labyrinthitis, not BPPV as I had thought. So, I keep a supply of Meclizine and mild Valium on hand. I also have some head and neck movement exercises to try to improve balance. I’m trying to stay active, not sit too long in one position, etc. I sense that another vertigo attack is lurking in the background preparing to strike out at me at the most inopportune time. If there is ever a good time for nausea and dizziness, it seems to happen at the worst!
On a happy note, Bruce and I went to DC in Mid-June for the HLAA convention. What a blast it was! Getting to meet in person with so many of my HJ friends was such a blessing for me. I cried when I first got there (Boo hoo – happy tears!) and again when we left (Boo hoo – sad tears!) So soon after losing Mom, I was still very emotionally on edge. We had one day to look at the Smithsonian Museums, and had a great time wandering around. So much to see, with so little time. But it was a delight to bond with my Bionic Sisters, take a million pictures and post to FB. We also went as a group to see a captioned performance of “Wicked” at the Kennedy Center. It blew us away! Next year the conference will be in Providence, RI… already looking forward to that one! It was a really good break for us after the memorial services, and before all the estate stuff got so intense.
We are now in the process of researching a vacation for next month… hoping to go to Glacier National Park and up to Calgary. We wanted to go a couple of years ago while we were in WA with Tom & Carol, but it didn’t work out. Instead we went to BC and drove the Selkirk Loop from Idaho… that was an absolutely gorgeous and very memorable vacation. I feel like the vertigo has taken a toll on my balance and gait… I want to enjoy these adventure trips while I can still do some of the active things we so enjoy.
So, the plan is to continue going through Mom’s house, make some exchanges of things there for some of my things here (washer/dryer, living room couch, etc). Prepare for and have the estate sale, and finally, put the house up for sale. Mom just loved it there, so it will be sad to see it go.
We know that she is with Daddy in Heaven, and I am glad that she didn’t suffer with some prolonged and painful illness or injury.
But selfishly, I just want more time with her. I want to hear her sing and laugh. I want to hear her tell some more family stories which she loved to so, and I have heard so many times… just once more.